the Web of Life

Today I raced the PT down the hall with crutches even though I don’t need them with the walking cast I beat her so she released me from physical therapy. I had a lot of visitors too. A bunch of my friends from church, Aunt tammy and my cuz Trevor (we looked up my mri to show my parents, they haven’t seen it till now) and some other friends, and some other family, and some more people lol. I am soooo tired but I still cant sleep.

  Life is amazing. Do you think everything happens for a reason? Or just coincidence? I think most things happen for a reason. To say the least I still cannot speak so at night I just lay here and think about life. What series of events lead me here or relate to my status.

 After I graduated high school I started to work at a church camp which I attended as a camper. My job was a special needs’ instructor. One week I was not assigned to a camper so I was supposed to chill out with a cabin that was overflowing with adolescence. Right after I was finished with my opening day job I was called and said that there was a change of plans. I was needed for a 12 year old girl as a walking guide. She was part of a cabin of “Care Free” campers, which are kids who has or has had cancer. This 13 year old girl had a tumor in her optical nerve which when removed, left her blind. I had the privilege to spend the week with amazing individual. We spent 7 day arm to arm and heart to heart. I wish there were words to describe that summer. What I thought was so fascinating is that she loved book and to draw. One day she asked me if she could see my bible so I gave it to her. She opened it and I had some pictures in there of my family and my dog and she grabbed them and asked me what they were of and I told her and we talked about our families and pets, and then she turned the page in my bible and there was a piece of paper? And slid her fingers down it and asked who is it from? I was didn’t understand. She asked again who is this letter from? I answered how did you know it was a letter? She the heading was Dear Sarah. She knew it was a letter because of the indents in the paper. I was so amazed. She hasn’t been blind for that long maybe two or three years. I love observing people. I wish I understood then what I do now. The fact is you cannot understand until you experience. She was such a strong girl. I wish that I can relive that week or better yet that summer and take more with me. I think about her and Joel’s mom an awful lot. I wish I remember more detail of them both and the strength they had to move forward and claim the new norms and but proud of it too. I understand that we all have our own stories to write but I understand so much more now that crossed the paths of these to strong women. It is probable that I had the tumor when met them, as big as it was the doc didn’t know how long it has been there but he said probably for years. I was thinking high school-ish but Im not sure that my guess.

At night they still put the bed alarm on me…when will they ever learn? I work in the hospital, when they leave I just shut it off. i still think it funny when the aides call me in the room on the intercom and ask me if im okay? And in hear in the background “yeah…. she can’t answer you… you have to go in there” that my entertainment for the night they know I cant talk back but they forget, which is okay it seems the kind of thing I would do. Lol its just funny.

 I still don’t know what kind of tumor it was…we should find out next week when I get my staples out.