Aug 2, 2011

She Held My Hand Till I Fell Asleep

I wasn’t shaking but my right side of my face dropped. I remember several events though it’s not clear what order they happened in. They very well could have been happing at the same time. I heard the speech pathologists talking to me. She was telling me that I am ok and that I had a seizure. Again the voices above my head were talking away at a speed and language that I could not understand, but I didn’t care. What was on my mind is that I was beginning to feel pain. I went to tell the nurse that my left arm was hurting but I opened my mouth and nothing came out…that was the moment I realized I lost my speech. Dr Cohen previously told me this will likely happen because of the size and area the tumor was located. But still I thought I prepared myself the best I could for the situation but I come to realize you cannot prep yourself for this. A tear fell from my left eye as I felt the resident press on my head with a stapler to close my head up. I remember feeling 3 or 4 staple going in. My left arm was the only things hurting, the staples didn’t hurt but I felt the pressure and the sharpness by my ear. Another tear fell from my eye and the pathologist dabbed it away and held my hand till I fell asleep. 

10 comments:

The Comptons said...

You dont know me but you should seriously consider making a book about this. You leave me hanging everytime through your scary journey but the way you portray it is like I'm standing right beside you. Wow.

Barb said...

Oh Sarah............hang in there sweetheart. Your a tough cookie & will get through this. Yes, it's going to be a lot of hard work to regain your speech......but for a Roller Derby Queen you are up to the challange!

Keep your eyes up above for that is where your hope is.

God Bless.

Daydream Believer said...

Hi, Sarah. I am blog friends with Scribe. She invited me to check out your blog, and I'm glad I did. I've decided to give you a shout out on my blog, http://andahomecomingqueen.com. Hope you don't mind!

Scribe said...

This is one of my favorites, Sarah... because I was in that operating room with you! You are a gift... no lie!

We need to plan a party for radiation being all done!

Bee Lady said...

Hang in there SArah...the comptons are right...make it a book.

Cindy Bee

Barb said...

Sarah, while I was driving down the road yesterday I was thinking about you & a thought came to me. I've been teaching myself sign language for several years now. It's a beautiful language! I was thinking perhaps that it might be beneficial for you to learn a little of it to help you during this transition time until you develop & regain your speech. Your whole family can join along as well as some friends. Here is a link to a sign language site that's really great. All the words are there & they have demonstrations that show you how to do everything. You can even use your cursor to drag it at a slower speed to help you learn each manuveur. At first it is a little time consuming, but if you write out a list of things that are most important for you to communicate right now & learn the signs it may help you greatly. Also, it is a wonderful way to praise the Lord, which will feed your spirit & lift you up. I do it with praise music all the time. I have actually done this form of worship at Church, Nursing Homes & at a Hospice Memorial. I think it's one of the most beautiful languages out there.


http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/aslpro.cgi

If that doesn't work just go to: aslpro.com

& click on the main dictionary, which is the page I was trying to get you to above with just one click.

God bless.

Sarah Jane said...

Barb, that funny that you said that...I do in fact sign...not fluently but well enough to get my point across. Its one of the things i have on my bucket list...to sign fluently. it's sooo beautiful! One time i was working with a four year old boy who was deaf he used to close his eyes when he didn't want to listen/read lol its funny now but then... i would say differently haah

And thanks to everybody for their kinda word, prayers and support

Barb said...

That's soooooooo cool Sarah, that you have that skill set! I love the story about the little boy.....kids are absolutley wonderous to me. Too cute.

I'm going through a difficult period in my life now (for other reasons than yours) but a really hard time none the less. Worshipping in sing has been such a comfort to me. I think it's one of the most beautiful ways to worship. It gives me peace in the midst of the storm.

Hang in there Sarah, you WILL get through this.

Lena Medina said...

Sarah,
I just found your blog (I don't know how) but I am blessed by your story so far. I am a Speech Pathologist and a teach a pre-k/Kindergarten class for Special Education Students and also facilitate a brain injury group for adults on Thursday evenings.
I am familiar with your diagnoses, but not the whole story. Many people who I speak with who have had brain surgery do not remember their experience in the hospital...you write your story so elequently and I appreciate your openness to do so. Thank you and good luck in this journey!!! Keep writing!

Jennifer said...

Daydream Believer pointed me in your direction and I am so grateful that she did. You are a great writer and your story is inspiring. Please know that you are in my prayers.